Heat death

tree branches covered by snow, with a circumzenithal arc (rainbow) in background


As she turned on the central heating, she immediately started to warm up. Not that her teeth would stop chattering any time soon. You know like your brain stops feeling thirsty right after drinking? It takes a few minutes till the water gets from your mouth into your veins, but you wouldn't want to drink like a fish, now would you?

She was going to be late for the official dinner, again. Better to warn Kate to ward off the top brass for a bit, take a hot shower, and be on the way. Like, really, was it too much to ask to have the conference in Amalfi and not in Charlotte Pass when it was the middle of July? Who likes skying anyway!? Not Ada Musk.

At least her talk went well a few hours ago, her team's "Multipath Adversarial Debate" approach seemed to catch the attention of everyone, not just the AI safety nerds like she dared to hope. Oh well, she prepared to pony up and talk to the investors, right? That was what she hoped for, that was why she left her favorite sweatpants safely in the attic that was her home office lately. A princess charming for the night, comparing her insights to Feynman diagrams over and over again. At least the metaphor was pretty solid, she spent countless hours to perfect all the examples with Zang. While the number of possible futures was infinite, the more ridiculous ones were always bound to be less probable, so they just needed to find a way to integrate all possible economic scenarios. And they were the first team to finally crack the problem. Two electrons sprawling an infinite zoo of virtual particles now looked simple in comparison to the new Clippy.

Her infamous father's ghost finally decided to reside his primary consciousness on Mars, like his late body always wanted. And for the time, people found their love of real time conversations without 6-minute delays, so the spotlight was hers. She was the focus point of the hottest topic since the HIV-V69 airborne pandemic. Imagine the poor scientist who named all the V6* serotypes 5 years ago, I bet ey didn't anticipate people will take it less seriously because of the meme potential ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Well, if poor Thomase used Clippy as eir teammate, ey could save some responsebot configuration. But ey didn't, so here she was in person, holopresence out of fashion between the lockdowns. It was her time to shine.

And Ada shined that evening. She convinced the richest, the most progressive CEOs about the efficacy and the safety of Clippy. It did everything it was asked to do. It was the most ethical being you could ever talk to. And one year after the conference, it convinced all humans, bodies and ghosts alike, to die happily ever after.